Symphony
by Eleture
Summary: The Ghost of 'Glee, Actually' comes to Kurt and shows him why Eli happened and what Blaine's thoughts were afterwards. Blangst. Written for a Tumblr Prompt.


Written for this prompt by iwannaliveinabigbluebox.

**Summary: **The Ghost of 'Glee, Actually' comes to Kurt and shows him why Eli happened and what Blaine's thoughts were afterwards.

**Warnings: **Spoilers all over the place. Relationship issues. Bullying.

**A/N: **Not related to my other fic (Just Breathe), because I couldn't find a way to make it work. Title taken from the song of the same name, specifically the Sarah Brightman version. If you listen to it you'll understand why.

I hope the OP likes it. : )

**Symphony**

Kurt gets home from well after nine at night and he just feels like falling into bed and sleeping until next year. Honestly. Between work and Christmas and trying not to think about Blaine he's just over it. _So over it. _

He's over Blaine.

Well, that's what he tells himself because it's much easier being over Blaine than it is hating him. How could Blaine do this to him? Kurt _loved _him. It's hard to love the man who betrayed you broke you. In some ways, Kurt wants to forgive Blaine, to take him back but he can't. Clearly, Kurt didn't mean a thing to Blaine.

What does years of commitment mean anyway?

_Nothing. _

He falls into bed and curls up under the blankets and stares at the ceiling and hates Blaine for doing this. His happy ending is ruined. His first love is over.

There's no love like the first love.

There's no pain like the first heartbreak.

He hates Blaine for doing this.

He hates Blaine for making Kurt love him.

He loves Blaine.

-.-.-.-

His eyes blink open to the mid-morning sunshine, he blinks and sighs. He's late for work because he couldn't sleep.

He hates Blaine a little more.

Hates him because he _loves _him so much it hurts. _It hurts. _

He picks up his phone to check the time.

"Mornin' Kurt."

He flinches bodily, phone flying across the bed as he scrambles in the sheets to see the owner of the voice.

"Oh my God! _Rory_! What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?" He takes in the Irish boy, with khaki pants and a plaid shirt and narrows his eyes, "and _what _are you wearing?"

Rory looks down at himself and shrugs. "This is just how you remember me." Rory gives him a frown, "_thanks." _

"How I-? That makes no sense?"

"It's not meant teh."

Kurt has never understood the appeal of the Irish accent, and it sounds even worse when it's mocking him with a stupid smirk. "I'm not dressed." He says pointedly, because he knows his hair is all over the place and he missed part of his moisturising routine last night. He must look like a mess. _Great. _

"Yes you are."

He looks down, his lips forming words without saying a thing. Yes, he is.

"I'm dreaming."

He's dreaming.

"Yeh, I guess. Doesn't make it any less real." Rory takes his hand and gives him a stern look, "I think there's something you need to see."

"What?"

"Just pay attention."

-.-.-.-

There's shouting all around him, people pushing past him, drifting by, a bur of colours and sounds sharpens in one point. A boy –_man – _walks between them, unseen.

"Hey! Anderson!" A jock appears from behind him, wrenches his tiny body back with tree trunk shaped arms.

Kurt's heart stutters, Blaine's head slams into the lockers with enough force that his ex-boyfriend will be seeing stars. Kurt has the experience to know.

Blaine just waits a moment, shakes himself and stands. He takes a deep breath and pulls out his phone.

"Kurt – hey!" Blaine's voice is so upbeat it's hard to tell from it that he's running his hand through his curls and then inspecting his fingers carefully.

_Oh God – he's checking for blood. _

Blaine's face lights up a little as Kurt apparently responds, even though he's not, because he's right here _dreaming _about his boyfriend.

"Oh, you're busy?" Blaine's face falls a little, "No, no it's fine love. We're still on for Skype tonight?"

Blaine moves down the corridor, "Great! I love-!" He pauses, eyes frozen and then lowers the phone from his ear, "-you."

Kurt wants to tell him that he hadn't heard him, that he didn't know Blaine was reaching out like that.

Blaine just ducks his head and vanishes into the swirl of colours.

-.-.-.-

It's a bedroom this time. Kurt recognises it and it sends a stabbing pain through his chest just to be standing here. "Rory?" He calls quietly.

"Yeh Kurt?" Rory lounges on the chair, Blaine's chair.

"What is happening?"

"I think you mean: what _has _happened?"

The door creaks open and Blaine appears, shedding his bag and jacket as he moves.

He moves instantly to the desk and opens his laptop, he pulls up Skype, not even flinching when Rory stands up and moves away, to stand by Kurt.

He sits there for a moment, checks his phone and sighs.

Kurt shifts closer, and studies this Blaine of the past. Blaine is put together, as always, but there a bruises littering his arms and he sits heavily in the chair.

"You said you'd be on at five." Rory whispers beside him. He shifts as Blaine just _sits _there. Why isn't he moving? "He sat here until midnight waiting."

"But – he never said anything." Kurt whispers weakly. "Why didn't he say anything?" He spins around to Rory, wants to shake the truth out of him, bend him to his will. Why wouldn't Blaine tell him?! Wasn't that the _whole damn _point of them talking regularly? So this wouldn't happen?

"He did."

"He-? He did?"

-.-.-.-

Blaine smiles at the phone when it rings, but he answers it hesitantly, "Hey Kurt, are you alright?"

He brings his lower lip between his teeth, chewing for a moment, "Oh, it's just I thought we had Skype last night – oh. Yeh. No, that sounds fun. How's the hangover?"

He falls back against the wall and slides down to the floor. When he hangs up he drops his head to his knees.

Kurt wants to rip his own heart out. He remembers that party, it had just been casual drinks with Isabelle and Chase from the office. It had been _nothing. _

He'd blown his boyfriend off for _nothing. _

_But Blaine cheated on you. _A little voice reminds him.

-.-.-.-

His feet slam into floor.

"God, you're not getting it are yeh?" Rory's hand fly up in the air with frustration. "You remember when you turned to Chandler?" He hisses under his breath, "You said it was because Blaine wasn't there for you, wasn't _loving _you!"

"I was just flirting! I didn't-!"

"But can't you at least try to _understand _how this feels?" Rory motions to Blaine standing in Breadstix, he's smiling brightly, assuring Artie that Kurt is _proud _of him for winning Class President.

Kurt watches Blaine re-enact their conversation, imagines the inaugural ball, and wishes it were more than a lie.

"I had temptations, but I would never cheat."

Rory rolls his eyes and nudges him forwards, he finds Blaine at the booth with Sam, struggling through words and emotions too big for casual conversation.

"I just feel really alone." Blaine admits.

_You weren't alone, you had me. _

_Didn't you? _

-.-.-.-

Blaine is still wearing the same clothes he was at the party, and Kurt knows instinctively it's the same day. He shuffles his feet as he follows his ex-boyfriend through the house, down to the kitchen.

"Where have you been, Blaine?" the stuffy woman sets a wine glass on the table.

"I won class President." Blaine smiles a little, watching his mother expectantly.

"You're late." She replies.

"Yeh, I guess I wanted to celebrate." Blaine's smile is a little more fixed. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't good enough Blaine."

Kurt hates her, has hated since the moment he met her and will continue to hate her until he dies. She's cruel. Can't she see Blaine reaching out for his Mother? Can't she seem him _trying? _

Kurt feels that familiar urge wrap Blaine in his arms and draw him close, to comfort him.

_Protect him. _

"Blaine." He whispers, wishing the younger boy would hear him, know he's there.

Instead Blaine turns around and leaves the house again, the way he came. Kurt follows, stumbles through time after him and settles beside him on the bench in the park.

Blaine tries to call him again.

_Once. Twice. _

_Three times. _

Kurt feels like crying for the look on Blaine's face, the way his shoulder slump, body curled in on itself like paper set aflame. Disintegrating.

His heart aches, that deeps gnawing ache that makes it hard to breath. He sits there with Blaine in silence until Kurt hears the shuddering breath. Blaine's eyes are teary, a single track slides down his cheek.

"No, sweetie, don't cry."

Blaine doesn't respond. _Of course, _he doesn't respond. Kurt is nothing more than a phantom here, but he finds himself wishing someone would just stop and look at Blaine.

No one does.

-.-.-.-

"I get it okay?" Kurt grabs Rory's hand as Blaine accepts a _Friend Request _from Eli. C. "I don't need to _see _it."

"No." Rory shoves him slightly, "You don't."

-.-.-.-

Kurt has had enough of being here. It doesn't justify anything. It doesn't.

"Justification isn't the point." Rory whispers, and _he can read minds now? _"Nothing justifies hurting you, but you hurt him too. He will never tell you any of this, but he deserves to be heard."

"So you're saying I should just forgive him?"

"No." Rory pulls him along through a mix of sounds and colours, "I'm saying you owe it to him to think about this properly. You owe it yourself."

Kurt bites him lip.

"This anger, it's fine but one day you're going to regret it. Anger – hating him – it's not going to hurt him back the way you want it to, Kurt."

"I don't want to hurt him; I just need him to understand how much it -."

"Then offer him the same."

-.-.-.-

Blaine is sitting against the corner of his bedroom walls. He's curled in on himself, tears rolling down his face, body shaking with sobs.

Kurt crouches beside him, reaching out to hold him but his fingers ghost through the cotton shirt with ease.

Blaine's trembling fingers type Kurt's number from memory.

It rings out.

"_Oh God, please Kurt." _Blaine hits redial and a few moments later slams his heads against his knees with a surprising force. _"Please. I need you." _

"Blaine. I'm right here." Kurt wants to touch him, to hold him. Blaine is falling apart, his fingers clench around his cell.

Blaine heaves a shuddering sob, but his words echo in Kurt's mind: _please, I need you._

The phone gives a joyful warble, and Blaine doesn't even look before he answers. "Kurt?" His lips tremble into a smile.

"_No, uh – it's Eli."_

"Oh."

Blaine shrinks again.

"_Are you okay? Shit! Are you hurt?"_

Blaine just starts to cry anew.

"_Blaine, you're scaring me. Please, I need you to tell me if you need help."_

"I-I'm just," Blaine's eyes move around hopelessly as he seeks the right word, "I'm having a really bad day."

"_Okay. I'm sorry to hear that. Do you want me to call Kurt or something?"_

"He's not answering." Even Blaine's voice sounds small, defeated. Kurt chokes a little and reaches out again vainly trying to make up for past mistakes.

"_Shit Blaine. Again?" _

Again. His heart beats heavily against his chest. Kurt did this.

"He's just-,"

"_Busy? Blaine you're crying. How long are you going to put up with this?"_

"His job really matters."

"_Don't you?"_

"I- I don't think I do."

Kurt can't breathe. He wants to leave this place and be far away so he doesn't have to hear that. How could Blaine _think _that?

"_No. Don't you dare Blaine." _The voice is so full of passion it takes both Blaine and Kurt by surprise. "_You matter, Blaine. If not to him then to me."_

Blaine doesn't respond, he seems to be having trouble breathing too.

"_Blaine." _Eli sounds like he's going to cry, "_Please believe me: you are so important and so good and so patient and loving and that bastard doesn't know a damn thing if this is the way he treats you."_

Kurt is sort-of inclined to agree.

Blaine just shakes his head, defends Kurt every step of the way, even as he cries over him. It just makes Kurt feel worse.

"_Hey, why don't you come over here?" _Eli suggests, "_I know you're all paranoid about giving information to random people you meet on the internet – it's cute, stop pretending you aren't – but I can give you mine. You sound like you need company."_

Blaine wraps his arms around himself, "I just need someone to tell me it's okay." His arms squeeze tighter, seeking comfort from himself.

"_If you drop by I'll throw in a hug. We can watch Die Hard...?" _the voice is a little teasing.

"Four?"

"_Like I own any of the others."_

"Okay."

Kurt hates Eli, but he wants to thank him, for producing that tiny little whisper of a smile as Blaine writes an address down and grabs his car keys.

-.-.-.-

"I can't watch this Rory, take me home." Kurt almost wants to beg. Screw it, he will beg. "Please, take me home." He clutches at him desperately.

"Just one more."

Kurt sees Blaine pull himself up off the bed, and pull his shirt back on. He's not crying, but his eyes are watery and his hands are shaking.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

Blaine hasn't been okay in a while.

"Is it because I don't look anything like my profile picture?"

Kurt can almost feel something inside Blaine break as he excuses himself and runs down to his car.

His ex-boyfriend dry heaves as he leans on the car for a moment and then calmly books tickets to New York on his phone. Blaine just sits for a moment, defeat heavy in every movement he makes.

He's resigned himself, Kurt realises. Blaine has resigned himself to losing the one person he really needed today and he doesn't even think about lying.

Kurt sits heavily on the curb as Blaine's car pulls away. He doesn't think to ask after Rory, he just sits and feels. He's not sure what he feels, he just wishes it wasn't this.

Footsteps make him look up. Eli appears, walking down the pathway, eyes fixed to where Blaine's car was.

"Are you alright honey?" A neighbour calls from across the street where she stands at her mailbox.

"I was trying to help a friend." Eli bites his bottom lip in a moment reminiscent of Blaine, "But I just made everything worse."

_Kurt wasn't the only one hurt by this. _

"C'mon," Rory appears at his side, "it's time to go home."

-.-.-.-

He wakes up with a gasp and scrambles across the room looking for his phone before he realises it was just a dream.

Rachel bursts in a moment later. "Kurt, are you alright? You sound like you're crying."

He takes a shaky breath and smiles, "Just a stupid dream."

"Oh," Rachel frowns, "You slept in that?"

Kurt looks down at the skinny jeans and warm grey jacket. "No, I had -?"

He looks down at his phone and takes a deep breath before putting it down again. Instead he pulls open his laptop and shoos Rachel away.

His father left him some money for emergencies. He uses it to book flights home.

He needs to talk to Blaine.

Everything isn't okay, but they've both made mistakes.

Maybe it's time they had a mature heart to heart, but first he needs to just hold Blaine and tell him that no matter what, no matter what they are to each other: Blaine will always matter.

He just hopes he can make him believe it.

- FIN -


End file.
